My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
