remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
