You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
