I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
