Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
