I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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