as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
