if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wakey wakey hands off snakey
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
