Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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