Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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