youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
