Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
