Just fell off a train. Bad.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She even gives head with a lisp.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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