after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
