I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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