I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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