You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
