Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
