I wish I could teleport
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
