Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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