My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
