bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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