I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize