super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
