if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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