arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
