My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
