i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize