dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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