Kiss
Puke
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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