i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize