you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
