Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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