How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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