I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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