got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
