I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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