Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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