I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
