They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
