why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
