im gay
i know
yea but for you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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