she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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