1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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