i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
