So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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