I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Me too!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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