'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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