It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
