Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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