Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
