Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
