He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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