So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
