I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
