But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
