Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize