doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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