Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize