Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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