i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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