what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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