Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize