So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
