I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
