Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
