you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
