can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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