sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
